13 Shocking Truths About The Real Single Mom Life

13 Shocking Truths About The Real Single Mom LifeSingle mom truths-Sonia J. Bergeron

I bet  you are intrigued as to what I am about to reveal! Well, reveal is a big word. I don’ think that I am going to ”reveal” anything that you ( single mom) haven’t done, thought of doing, have gone through, imagined or dreamt of. Yeah, my story is pretty unique. 

As a single mother, there are things that I have gone through ( survived) that I will never ever forget. These things have made me the woman that I am today, the mother that I am today. I am not saying that I am anywhere near being the perfect mother but these true events have taught me a lot about good parenting, about myself, about who I am, about my fears and goals, my dreams and most importantly, about who I truly want to be.

What I am about to put forward are things that have actually happened to me. I thought that if I gace my personal opinion about my experiences that it might help in some sort of way.  Ideally, if I could help anyone, I will have achieved my goal.

1- Single moms are called ”single moms” for a reason: What reason?

single mom

I have been a single mom since my children were very young. Let’s say since I was 24 years old. What I mean by ”single mom” is that I have basically brought up my children on my own, without a partner.  Don’t get me wrong, their fathers ( yes, my children have two different fathers) have been present in their lives but not ”present-present”. In my opinion, not enough to make a difference.

I have had a few men in my life other than their fathers. Ok, more than a few in the course of 25 years but not a dozen. I wouldn’t want you thinking that I was this ”easy single mom” who’s only focus was men.  What I mean is that I have had a few ” important” men in my life. My point is this: I am still single and my children are both adults. Now, you may be thinking, why is she still single? What’s wrong with her?  Truthfully, I am still not sure. None of my relationships have been successful. NONE. I always promised myself that I would never settle and I haven’t. I deserve an awesome man.  I am not saying that I am this perfect girlfriend either. I’ve been told that I have one heck of a character. To this day, I even wonder if there is someone out there for me. No, I am not feeling sorry for myself. I’m just saying it like it is.

2-Single moms have feelings: Don’t treat them like their idiots!

single mom funny face

Some people think that single moms are single because they were abandonned by the father of their children. That is not true. Single moms, most of them, choose to be single. It’s better for them. They are happier that way. They don’t need the stress of a man mistreating them or tearing apart their dreams. They are smart,  much smarter than you think.

3-Single moms are strong.

Strong woman

I am not taking about being strong physically here. I mean yes, some of us are strong in that sense, but when I say ”strong”, I mean mentally strong. We are able to cope with so many things at the same time without really thinking about it. We can multitask and not even know it. It comes naturally for us. We can make our children’s lunches all the while helping them with their homework. We can accept that our kids may have difficulty in certain subjects and not feel guilty about it. We can continue to build our businesses and become better at our professions while making sure that our children are the happiest they can be. Nothing can bring us down or discourage us. That’s strong!

4-Single moms have dreams.

woman dreams

Oh boy, do we ever! I would have to say the biggest dream we have is probably the dream that our children turn out to be the most amazing healthy human beings in the world.  However, we also have big dreams for ourselves.  We dream of building  businesses, of  moving up in he workplace and to of becoming better everyday.

5-Single moms do it all.

woman multitask

We do it all! We make their lunches, cook them breakfast, we drive them to school, pick them up from school, help with their homework, make them dinner, make sure they are clean, tell them bedtime stories, put them to bed, drive them to soccer, bring them to their hockey games, go to parent-teacher meetings and much much more…It’s our job! It’s what we do! It’s who we are and we love it!

6-Single moms are superwomen.

Woman super hero

I think that it’s pretty clear that we are all superwomen! Everything enumerated in number 5 pretty much proves that. But the cherry on the sundae is that we never complain about any of it. We are happy to do it and very proud of everything that we do.  That’s what makes us true superheros!

7-Single moms make mistakes:Well, I do. I did.

dating mistakes

What? Single moms make mistakes? For some reason, most, if not all of the men that I have had in my life have taken me for an idiot. Ok, maybe that’s harsh but let’s say, a fool.  In one way or another, I still don’t know how they pulled it off,  but they did.  They all managed to lie to me  about important things like their true ”living situation”, about their mental health, and even managed to steal a great amount of money from me. Yes, I have made my share of mistakes in my choice of men but those mistakes have made me grow and know exactly what I want in my life. Most importantly, I now know what I don’t want. I think that that’s a really good thing.

8-Single moms want to be perfect: the perfect mom.

perfect single mom

All mothers want to be perfect in their own way! They all want their children to have the best all the while teaching them how to be a good person. Unfortunately, that is not possible. We all make mistakes. We have to. That’s how we learn. That’s how we become better. It’s important to accept our mitakes and make it so that we don’t make the same mistake twice. 

9-Single moms need love too.

woman need love

Single moms need to feel loved and respected, not necessarily by a man. It can be by friends and family, co-workers,etc… However, having a better half, someone that will give us affection can make a really big difference in our lives. Feeling loved puts a smile on our faces. It makes our days brighter and without a doubt, gives us the energy to face all of the single mom challenges that arise every day.

10-Single moms also need TLC.

TLC

What exaclty is TLC? It can be different for everyone. Yes, I am referiing to  ”tender loving care.” Although, in general, I believe  that for most of us, it means a little bit of physical action. Let’s face it! You know, being held, touched, kissed….all of that good stuff that most of us fantasize about. It makes all of the difference and can most certainly contributes to  putting us in a mood that will make everyone around us jealous! 

11-Single moms can do anything.

successfull woman

This couldn’t  be truer! Single mom’s have super powers! They can do anything that they put their minds to. The truth is, their motivation is their children and are set on showing their children that they too can do anything if they set their minds to it. Their priority is to set the example and lead by showing them that anything is possible. 

12-Single moms are vulnerable.

Vulnerable woman

Although everything mentioned above seems to contradict this point, it doesn’t because we are all vulnerable and it’s absolutely normal. Because of all of the pressure and all of the responsibilities that we all have, vulnerability is unavoidable. It shows that we are human and that we are sensitive to everything around us. It permits us to let our guard down once in awhile and let us feel all of those feeling that we sometimes try to push away and, that is perfectly ok. 

 

13-Single moms feel helpless too.

Helpless woman

We don’t always have the solution to everything. We go though stress and sometimes feel hopeless and helpless. That’s perfeclty normal as well. Some things are totally out of our control and although we want to be and remain perfect, this shouldn’t keep us from feeling like a superhero! There is a solution to everything. Even the worst of times will pass. 

Over the years, the number of singles in the world has increased. And sadly, over time, this number will continue to increase. We need to look at the postive sides of being a single mother. Don’t get me wrong though, not everyone appreciate being a single mom and some of us stuggle greatly because of it. Let’s not let other people’s oppinions get to us. Let’s stay postive and focus on the most important thing which is our children. The rest will fall into place. It always does. Keep up the good work, ladies!

6 comments on “13 Shocking Truths About The Real Single Mom Life”

  1. C Reply

    Thank you for this great article. My mom was a single mom from when I was around 5 until I was around 10 or 11. I guess I was young so I did not know or understand that much about what it was like for her to be a single mom. But she would probably have appreciated this article at the time, because she could relate to a lot of aspects of it.

    I think that single moms today will appreciate your article because it will help them relate to things they are going through. For me, it will help me to be more considerate of other people, especially single moms. It is definitely true that single moms have feelings and single moms are human and you deserve consideration as such. 

    Single moms are going through so much because they have to make the full-time income as well as care for the children and of course they also have to care for themselves. And probably more things in addition to those! Such as even taking care of the house and more things.

    I hope you and your children have a good day, and that your online business is very successful to help you with being a single mom. Thank you!

    • SJB Reply

      Thank you for your kind input. You’re right, it isn’t easy but you are left with no other choice, you just take the bull by the horns and do it. I am fortunate. My children are amazing and I have a great loving relationship with them. No matter whether you are a single mother or not, my take-away is that you can make any of your dreams come true if you want it badly enough. Best wishes to you as well,

  2. jessetoikkanen Reply

    Nice article, there are lots of single moms working hard to feed and grow up their children and trying to figure how to get decent income same time. In my case, I was a single dad and mom of my son said she does not have time or want to care about a son and it was ok for me cause it was will of my son as well (to live with me). But when our son was 7 years, his mom started to make all sorts of legal and illegal tricks to get a son, not to care but to get more money, regarding her own thoughts. Sadly she had (has) some deeply men-hating “justice” warriors in social services and they agreed to make the decisions not based on the truth of wishes of our son and I can’t be a dad nowadays. I wouldn’t like to use kids as “playing cards” so in my opinion its better (or less bad) to let my son wait some years more to be able to legally move out there than starting to use mean ways. Another bright side I don’t need to be in the hospital for a yearly basis due to her violence anymore. In some cases it may be the opposite, men doing this kind of thing. Hard to say. However, I am still alive and it makes me forget small problems 🙂

    • SJB Reply

      Wow! Thank you for sharing that with me. I can tell that she must have given you a hard time. However, that doesn’t take away from the fact that you are still a very good father in your heart. The Universe has a very good way of taking care of us. Believe that and you will continue to be very happy. Best wishes to you. 

  3. Derek. Reply

    OFirst of all I must say I hear you.  I now need to say not all men are bad.  My mother was a strong woman and from reading your post I can tell you are too.  The world we live in is filled with a variety of people and a majority of them are all about personal gain.  As a mother you have for filled your role and given your children a good start in life and I know anyone reading your post will pull strength from your words.

    • SJB Reply

      Hello Derek,

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I did work hard to raise my children but I truly think that it was my calling, my responsibility. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that all men are bad. There are bad people all over, men and women. As human beings, we just have to concentrate on the good ones. 

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