I bet you are intrigued as to what I am about to reveal! Well, reveal is a big word. I don’ think that I am going to ”reveal” anything that you ( single mom) haven’t done, thought of doing, have gone through, imagined or dreamt of. Yeah, my story is pretty unique.
As a single mother, there are things that I have gone through ( survived) that I will never ever forget. These things have made me the woman that I am today, the mother that I am today. I am not saying that I am anywhere near being the perfect mother but these true events have taught me a lot about good parenting, about myself, about who I am, about my fears and goals, my dreams and most importantly, about who I truly want to be.
What I am about to put forward are things that have actually happened to me. I thought that if I gace my personal opinion about my experiences that it might help in some sort of way. Ideally, if I could help anyone, I will have achieved my goal.
1- Single moms are called ”single moms” for a reason: What reason?
I have been a single mom since my children were very young. Let’s say since I was 24 years old. What I mean by ”single mom” is that I have basically brought up my children on my own, without a partner. Don’t get me wrong, their fathers ( yes, my children have two different fathers) have been present in their lives but not ”present-present”. In my opinion, not enough to make a difference.
I have had a few men in my life other than their fathers. Ok, more than a few in the course of 25 years but not a dozen. I wouldn’t want you thinking that I was this ”easy single mom” who’s only focus was men. What I mean is that I have had a few ” important” men in my life. My point is this: I am still single and my children are both adults. Now, you may be thinking, why is she still single? What’s wrong with her? Truthfully, I am still not sure. None of my relationships have been successful. NONE. I always promised myself that I would never settle and I haven’t. I deserve an awesome man. I am not saying that I am this perfect girlfriend either. I’ve been told that I have one heck of a character. To this day, I even wonder if there is someone out there for me. No, I am not feeling sorry for myself. I’m just saying it like it is.
2-Single moms have feelings: Don’t treat them like their idiots!
Some people think that single moms are single because they were abandonned by the father of their children. That is not true. Single moms, most of them, choose to be single. It’s better for them. They are happier that way. They don’t need the stress of a man mistreating them or tearing apart their dreams. They are smart, much smarter than you think.
3-Single moms are strong.
I am not taking about being strong physically here. I mean yes, some of us are strong in that sense, but when I say ”strong”, I mean mentally strong. We are able to cope with so many things at the same time without really thinking about it. We can multitask and not even know it. It comes naturally for us. We can make our children’s lunches all the while helping them with their homework. We can accept that our kids may have difficulty in certain subjects and not feel guilty about it. We can continue to build our businesses and become better at our professions while making sure that our children are the happiest they can be. Nothing can bring us down or discourage us. That’s strong!
4-Single moms have dreams.
Oh boy, do we ever! I would have to say the biggest dream we have is probably the dream that our children turn out to be the most amazing healthy human beings in the world. However, we also have big dreams for ourselves. We dream of building businesses, of moving up in he workplace and to of becoming better everyday.
5-Single moms do it all.
We do it all! We make their lunches, cook them breakfast, we drive them to school, pick them up from school, help with their homework, make them dinner, make sure they are clean, tell them bedtime stories, put them to bed, drive them to soccer, bring them to their hockey games, go to parent-teacher meetings and much much more…It’s our job! It’s what we do! It’s who we are and we love it!
6-Single moms are superwomen.
I think that it’s pretty clear that we are all superwomen! Everything enumerated in number 5 pretty much proves that. But the cherry on the sundae is that we never complain about any of it. We are happy to do it and very proud of everything that we do. That’s what makes us true superheros!
7-Single moms make mistakes:Well, I do. I did.
What? Single moms make mistakes? For some reason, most, if not all of the men that I have had in my life have taken me for an idiot. Ok, maybe that’s harsh but let’s say, a fool. In one way or another, I still don’t know how they pulled it off, but they did. They all managed to lie to me about important things like their true ”living situation”, about their mental health, and even managed to steal a great amount of money from me. Yes, I have made my share of mistakes in my choice of men but those mistakes have made me grow and know exactly what I want in my life. Most importantly, I now know what I don’t want. I think that that’s a really good thing.
8-Single moms want to be perfect: the perfect mom.
All mothers want to be perfect in their own way! They all want their children to have the best all the while teaching them how to be a good person. Unfortunately, that is not possible. We all make mistakes. We have to. That’s how we learn. That’s how we become better. It’s important to accept our mitakes and make it so that we don’t make the same mistake twice.
9-Single moms need love too.
Single moms need to feel loved and respected, not necessarily by a man. It can be by friends and family, co-workers,etc… However, having a better half, someone that will give us affection can make a really big difference in our lives. Feeling loved puts a smile on our faces. It makes our days brighter and without a doubt, gives us the energy to face all of the single mom challenges that arise every day.
10-Single moms also need TLC.
What exaclty is TLC? It can be different for everyone. Yes, I am referiing to ”tender loving care.” Although, in general, I believe that for most of us, it means a little bit of physical action. Let’s face it! You know, being held, touched, kissed….all of that good stuff that most of us fantasize about. It makes all of the difference and can most certainly contributes to putting us in a mood that will make everyone around us jealous!
11-Single moms can do anything.
This couldn’t be truer! Single mom’s have super powers! They can do anything that they put their minds to. The truth is, their motivation is their children and are set on showing their children that they too can do anything if they set their minds to it. Their priority is to set the example and lead by showing them that anything is possible.
12-Single moms are vulnerable.
Although everything mentioned above seems to contradict this point, it doesn’t because we are all vulnerable and it’s absolutely normal. Because of all of the pressure and all of the responsibilities that we all have, vulnerability is unavoidable. It shows that we are human and that we are sensitive to everything around us. It permits us to let our guard down once in awhile and let us feel all of those feeling that we sometimes try to push away and, that is perfectly ok.
13-Single moms feel helpless too.
We don’t always have the solution to everything. We go though stress and sometimes feel hopeless and helpless. That’s perfeclty normal as well. Some things are totally out of our control and although we want to be and remain perfect, this shouldn’t keep us from feeling like a superhero! There is a solution to everything. Even the worst of times will pass.
Over the years, the number of singles in the world has increased. And sadly, over time, this number will continue to increase. We need to look at the postive sides of being a single mother. Don’t get me wrong though, not everyone appreciate being a single mom and some of us stuggle greatly because of it. Let’s not let other people’s oppinions get to us. Let’s stay postive and focus on the most important thing which is our children. The rest will fall into place. It always does. Keep up the good work, ladies!